Boredom

I don’t know it before

That boredom can kill you

It hits your core

The soul

Sucking your energy

Leave you feel restless

Don’t know where this all will be going

It seems so far away, the happy ending

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Plan of Escape

No goal, no purpose

Wasting time, lost of direction

No love, no rose

Not a kid, no need a caution

Frustation in the head

Unexplained a sense of sadness

Escaping from the world

Escaping from the self

Plan of escape

Change the name, change the hair color

Be someone new

Role

Sit alone on the the empty chair

It’s night, ready to get work, about to night shift again

Listening to long live song

Texting old friend

Ask for some ideas to light up the day

But it’s just still empty

Sensing the lost of direction

Where I stand now, where I want to go

I just feel dull, right now

Want to play another role

Do You Feel Happy

Do you feel happy?

It’s a simple question yet hard to answer

It’s a crucial question but easily forgotten

You don’t fight hard enough to win

You put yourself last after everyone

Then you wonder, why unhappy things happened?

In between the tears you wonder why you let it happened

Why stay with someone who undervalue you

Why stay in environment that disgraded you

Why stay when you feel unappreciated

Use your compass, ask your self

Do you feel happy?

Have you been happy today?

Because that’s what matter

Only you know how it feels to be you

Don’t hope someone will understand

Because they’re busy living their own life too

Grow up, stand up for your ownself

Don’t ask someone to speak up for you

When you feel like lost, just ask inside

Do you feel happy?

Last Presence

There’s something about me
that you just can’t understand

I don’t expect you to

It was just still too heartbreaking

To accept the fact of what had happened

of what you did when I gave my all

But I ain’t gonna deny it

Not gonna re-live the pain

Let what have been in the past stay that way

But why sometimes it’s haunting me again

It seems I still can’t deal with it

Feeling and memories mixed inside

Turn on the turmoil of your last presence

I never hear any explanations

No sincere words of forgiveness like you did before

Not even a goodbye

You just disappeared like I never did appear in your life

I try to ignore the inside question asking why

Because I just can’t explain the reason

There was no explanation

It was like you slammed the door in my face 

When I stood there right in front of your place

And I desperately banged my head off the door

Wish you will open it but you just disappeared

Why it had to be so sadden

Why I let myself fall for someone as cruel as you

Set me free from all this suffering

Break me free from all this burden

Stop torturing me

All The Doors

By the way, I still miss you

It’s been a long time, isn’t it?

How can I put it in to the words

I don’t even dare to ask how you are

You cut it so badly, dear

I have nothing to say

If you can only see

All the door are opened

If only you come

I will welcome you

It’s impossible for you

not to see

all the doors are opened

But you just don’t

want to come, do you?

I know, no problem

I’m waiting here

not expecting you to come

just want to see

Who will really care at the end

Old Journal

I found the old journals I wrote 3 years ago

I read it all again and was struck by the words

So lively, so energizing

Full of plans and hope

So alive, it made me wonder

What had happened to me 

Now I often feel so low, full of doubt

Those writing kind of reminding me

I can be whatever I want to be

Shut Down

Can’t I have a real friend?

At least for once

Want to have someone to talk to

Why I have to?

Lost and hope

I am nowhere

Lucky me

My sanity still keeps it safe

But sometimes

I just want to shut down

Moment of Celebration

I used to be on my own

One year last

The event in the middle on the way had changed me

To be someone I am not

Now everyone forgets me 

Suddenly I have no one to look up to

Have no name in everyone’s minds

Felt like a star once but then abandoned

It was really challenging

Made you questioning your self worth

But I’m okay

Yes it’s a lonely place 

But hey let’s see

I’m starting to find myself back

I feel the freedom and it’s comfortable to stand on my own for once again

It’s the moment of celebration

To find the peace inside 

Only me and my dream

Night Riding

‚ÄčI enjoy my night riding alone

It’s so pleasant that I forget why I need to feel abandoned

It have been so long not to be on my own

Let all the questions forgotten

I don’t crave the answer anymore

I’m going to forget you until I forget why I need to