Days with The Smile

I take the book
Turn the page on
To my favorite one
But I just feel numb
The excitement that use to come along has gone
I take the guitar
Sing an inspiring song
But I feel nothing
I put the recorder on
Play back the video of my special moment
I don’t know who she is anymore
I feel totally stranger to myself
I feel fall in to the deep hole and lost
Can’t figure out where I am going to
I’m missing something I don’t know what it is
I talked to my family
I called my best friends
But as I was talking, they just felt so far away
Can’t really say what I feel inside
I feel my heart is shattered
And my mind tells that I’m dying
I should be strong
I shouldn’t be vulnerable
But there are times
So many times
I feel the burden too heavy
I don’t think I can hold on and back up myself
Days…
I miss the happy days
Where I can talk and be honest
About things I feel without need to pretend
Someone who won’t judge me
For my vulnerability
Days with the smile
The fresh air and the light blue sky
I miss it
Days when things are easy
When I can cry and my mom will hug me to keep me steady
And she will say that I will be okay
Days with a smile and happy kind heart

Empty Road

image

Only me
Looking at street
Waiting you
To come here
But it’s just an empty road
I keep telling myself you’ll be home baby
But you are not
I keep faith in you and denying my frightening soul
Which said
You will not come
No matter how long I wait
Dust in the air
Tears in my hand
I let my heart tear up
Why do I let myself bleed?
It hurts so much
After those sweet night
You made me feel so special
Feel like the only one
Just me, no need to pretend
In September
You have made me believe
I can be whatever I want to be
But in January
You have changed baby
You are not same like before
You have turned your cold shoulder over me
It shouldn’t affect me
I should’ve still stood tall
Somehow I can’t stop myself from breakdown
I can’t be who once I’ve been